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nickwarner's profile

nickwarner's sentences

  1. 1 votes

    Those pirates over to the left there suggested they might constrict my throat if I didn't hand over their gold nuggets. So I ran. submitted by nickwarner Monday, October 17, 2011 - 10:48:38 permalink, tweet this

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  2. 1 votes

    They told us to stop doing magic tricks in the parking lot after Dave died from the rabbit bite. I went back to my day job. But Julio was the tough, unbending type and insisted to continue. Ironically, he was killed too after sawing himself into halves. submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, May 10, 2011 - 13:45:29 permalink, tweet this

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  3. 1 votes

    The dudes put me in the cubbyhole despite my protests. In time, I began to love my cubbyhole. I made it my own wonderful place. I'd take little adventures through the even cubbier cubbyholes within my cubbyhole. I was no longer a prisoner. I was at peace. submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, May 03, 2011 - 15:00:34 permalink, tweet this

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  4. 0 votes

    Though the water coming from the tap was potable, Steve preferred to add a tablespoon of mud and gravel into his glass for extra authentic flavor. submitted by nickwarner Saturday, November 06, 2010 - 22:48:26 permalink, tweet this

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  5. 1 votes

    Christy raised the trumpet to her lips, widened her eyes, breathed in a huge breath and leaned back... Then! She let a nasally, little whimper out of the instrument. Bravo, Christy! Bravo! submitted by nickwarner Thursday, November 04, 2010 - 14:33:17 permalink, tweet this

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  6. 2 votes

    Cameron's acerbity could be felt by the other old sailors in the room and they were all quite pleased. submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, November 03, 2010 - 17:23:35 permalink, tweet this

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  7. 1 votes

    Lwaxana had so many tie-ups, from dumb boyfriends to weird royal servants to silly little men who wanted to kidnap her, she didn't have the time to persure that real love of hers: the Picard. submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, November 03, 2010 - 03:30:20 permalink, tweet this

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  8. 1 votes

    I leaned in and kissed the dragon, fully knowing that our consanguinity would prevent us from marriage. submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, October 27, 2010 - 15:32:22 permalink, tweet this

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  9. 1 votes

    The George Washington Caverns Gift Shop, operated by a cuttlefish named Gene but lacking any interest by the other local cephalopods, was recently blessed with cannon ball that had tumbled larboard and dropped off of a passing ship. What fine luck, Gene! submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, October 26, 2010 - 10:12:58 permalink, tweet this

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  10. 2 votes

    We entered the tenebrous tomb expecting a reception of mummified creatures and indecipherable hieroglyphics. Rather, we found a killer toga party and were greeted by some sorority chicks handing us some brews. And we dominated their beer pong tournament! submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, August 25, 2010 - 14:52:23 permalink, tweet this

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  11. 1 votes

    They said he was a wolfman. When the lights went out, another big breasted broad disappeared. They said he was snatching the locals, making the whodunit. Did he eat or befriend them? I suggested we get more evidence. They suggested I was a wolfman, too. submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, August 24, 2010 - 12:32:57 permalink, tweet this

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  12. 1 votes

    Punching through the wet soil, the reanimated skeletons pulled themselves out of their graves. These demons surrounded Molly Ringwald and I and obturated the cemetery gates where our Camero sat idling. If only we'd stayed in the backseat like I suggested. submitted by nickwarner Monday, August 23, 2010 - 14:02:11 permalink, tweet this

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  13. 1 votes

    Designing grand dresses and constructing fantastic masks, I trained with endless energy for years to become a great costumier for others. Yet, at peak of my popularity, I still only wear simple black and hide in the wings. submitted by nickwarner Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 17:16:46 permalink, tweet this

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  14. 1 votes

    Tootie and I spent our younger, wilder summers just north of the cape. One night, returning from the beach, we found a little mouse on my scooter. She kept it and named him Peter. When she stroked Peter's pelage, I couldn't help wishing I was that mouse. submitted by nickwarner Thursday, August 19, 2010 - 13:51:07 permalink, tweet this

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  15. 2 votes

    I ask the local witch for a potion that would debilitate that cocky matador who would always steal my lunch and make me run through his cape to get it back. I later found out that the witch and the matador were dating. Hot and heavy, even. How Awkward! submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, August 18, 2010 - 17:19:42 permalink, tweet this

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  16. 1 votes

    I was surprised to learn that Ralph was selling comic books in the public restroom; but maybe it's not that strange of a locale for his business after all! submitted by nickwarner Thursday, August 12, 2010 - 23:21:52 permalink, tweet this

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  17. 1 votes

    Angry Wayne thought it would be funny to personate a beer. He fashioned a tin cap, glued glass shards over his naked body, filled up with brew by doing some kegstands, and sat himself in the fridge. We concluded that he, though bitter, was less filling. submitted by nickwarner Friday, July 23, 2010 - 21:20:48 permalink, tweet this

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  18. 1 votes

    The squid attached to my face and just before I entered a frenzied shock, he said "Sir, I may be just a simple squid of the sea, though mayhap you will put out your pipe? The smoke gives me hives and a rash." I extinguished my pipe and we shared a cake. submitted by nickwarner Friday, July 09, 2010 - 16:03:29 permalink, tweet this

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  19. 1 votes

    Finally stepping into Two Keys, my quietus began. I have done everything. submitted by nickwarner Friday, February 12, 2010 - 15:26:39 permalink, tweet this

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  20. 1 votes

    We were greeted with body massages and unexpected coquetry but we just wanted to do sweet tricks on our bikes. submitted by nickwarner Thursday, February 11, 2010 - 13:13:45 permalink, tweet this

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  21. 1 votes

    The weather man said it was going to be sunny and warm today but it was actually a tarradiddle. What a comedian! submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, February 10, 2010 - 16:03:49 permalink, tweet this

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  22. 1 votes

    After walking 500 miles and then walking another 500 miles, the distance vitiated my muscles and I fell down (ironically) in front of the door to your house. submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, February 10, 2010 - 00:12:39 permalink, tweet this

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  23. 1 votes

    The approbation process for passing progressive legislation in this province is painfully slow and punishes those with promising intellectual prowess. submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, February 09, 2010 - 00:48:51 permalink, tweet this

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  24. 1 votes

    The distrait kittens did not appreciate wearing their new hats at the birthday party. submitted by nickwarner Friday, February 05, 2010 - 23:43:02 permalink, tweet this

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  25. 1 votes

    Dude! We won the game, we cracked open some tasty, gelid brews, and jumped in the hot tub filled with babelicious coeds! Sweet! submitted by nickwarner Wednesday, February 03, 2010 - 02:50:08 permalink, tweet this

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  26. 1 votes

    The panjandrum thought he was so cool because he rocked his own pan drum jam. submitted by nickwarner Thursday, January 28, 2010 - 03:58:49 permalink, tweet this

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  27. 1 votes

    My illness was evinced to the shocked crowd as the phlegm escaped my raw throat. submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, January 26, 2010 - 23:14:30 permalink, tweet this

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  28. 1 votes

    As I coughed again, a plenipotentiary thrust of air exited my lungs and carried with it a unsatisfyingly small nugget of phlegm. submitted by nickwarner Tuesday, January 26, 2010 - 05:46:21 permalink, tweet this

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  29. 1 votes

    I think that "Tha Crossroads" by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony demonstrates their veritable radness as a R&B/rap group. submitted by nickwarner Sunday, January 24, 2010 - 05:47:18 permalink, tweet this

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  30. 1 votes

    Gather your tools, bring your supplies, and even pack your little bibelots for we are headed on a mighty adventure across Middle-Earth AND we shall walk through the dark regions of Mordor! submitted by nickwarner Thursday, January 21, 2010 - 16:19:29 permalink, tweet this

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